Dude i dont know how people can complain that waterboarding is such a bad thing. I just sat through a fucking puddle of mudd show. Now thats torture
At what point did I decide it would be a good idea to fill my contact case with vodka
The highlight of my Saturday night was singing along to the sound of music alone in my room.
We were making out in the bushes when some dude comes and starts peeing beside us.
Found a cheerleading trophy in my shower this morning. Explain.
dude i have an english essay and a bio lab due tomorow
so basically your not goin out tonight?
who said that?
WHY AM I ALWAYS DEFEATED BY THE LATIN COCK?!?!
Some Russian dude just came up to us and I'm pretty sure he offered his girlfriend to have sex for 80 bucks. Whoever said porn movies were unrealistic.
Just replaced the batteries in my vibrator without turning on the lights. I need to get laid.
I was woken up in my old house by the new residents ... I don't even have a Key anymore
I'm going to give blood tomorrow. Prepare yourself for pictures and a cynical poem about the heart and its level of tangibility.
If I spent my amateur stripper money does that mean I am cleansed of my sins?
One day we'll be rich enough to go to rehab. Until then, fuck it.
Come over. We have half a bottle of jumbo champagne left and no boyfriends to slow us down
I woke up to an email from expedia confirming my flight to hong kong
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