Regardless thnx for trying to help out, I realize we are dealing w/ very stupid girls here
why is it that no matter what your novelty license plate says it always screams "im a huge tool"?
ejected that DVD during the department meeting.. it was our porn from last night. I have a new nick-name at work.
I just realized this is gonna be the last time that I'm high in my childhood home. I'm kinda sad. I'm really high..
I can't wait to see you, I've been doing mouth stretches for the past 2 days
Rode a jet ski for the first time three days after I lost my virginity. Hell of a week for my vagina.
She's okay as an interesting car wreck. But as a sexual object she's funny
its my first week of college and i have a UTI
not easy being a whore now is it
We just threw our carpet out of our room. Via fourth floor window style.
My Mom printed off all of my Augusts text messages. Apparently I've been drinking WAY too much and having an intermediate drug problem. I have to go home everyw weekend for the rest of the semester
While looking for socks, I found my mothers sex toy box. Dear god I finally understand where my kinkiness comes from.
WHAT THE FUCK KIND OF NINTENDO FILLED GLORIOUS ENCHANTING FANTASY LAND ARE YOU IN?! DUDE DID YOU MOVE TO THE 90S?!?!?!
Don't do shots out of Tostitos scoops.
Sorry that I got drunk and refused to let you buy me pizza. I'm a monster and I understand if you hate me forever
Im just confused who has their mom break up with someone
Randomize
