Yea and his cousin visited from central and i fucked her i was texting him at work teasin him about it but sent it to his mom by accident
never thought i'd see a ''climb of shame'' until she came down from the attic in front of the whole party..
There is so much to learn about oneself from autofill.
Just called the bar: "hi this is the girl who you kicked out for excessive bleeding, do you happen to have my coat?"
we are sitting in a kindergarden classroom alone chugging beer. look at our lives. look at our choices.
Your place is a magnet for either righteous parties or crippling alcohol dependency. Lets find out which together
Remember the 3 things that are off limits? They're fair game if you get here in the next 5 minutes
Apparently drunk me was getting hit on and i wasn't into it so i shouted "Stupify" at him like i was fucking harry potter then went to the pizza place next to the bar and punted some guys pizza box out of his hands. :(
She said "oh yeah" like Hulk Hogan with the muscle flex and everything. Totally digging this chick
True friends don't judge, they just try to have more booty calls than you do.
I'm hungover laying in my moms bed watching Space Jam.. Adult Life..
Just got offered cocaine at ihop. Stay classy America.
If I was banging all the guys that people think I am, I'd quit buying batteries.
Um I got a ride home from the bar with two random boys and one tried to bang me on my parents riding mower
I just deff did the walk of shame.. His roommate/manager woke us up. A dog scared me on my stumble to the car.
This is why I'm single.
Randomize
