I had a dream last night where you were a transsexual in a low cut blue dress with lovely long brown hair. You were very pretty. I hope you are well.
i jus seen this fat chick walk buy look like she had don king coming out her arm pits..
i may or may not have puked on your loofa in the shower.
we turned studying into a drinking game, she drinks when she gets it right, i drink when she gets it wrong. so we'll be out soon
You said you couldnt get the condom on but "its the thought that counts"
Is it ironic that the girl with the horse face is also on the equestrian team?
So somebody asked her is she's okay.She turned around,started running and screamed "Ballet is running through my veins" before doing a small pirouette.It's amazing how she managed not to fall.
I bought him bourbon as a thank you for his apology. What is wrong with me?
If your wondering why there is a puddle on the floor is I may have decided to make a kiddie pool in your living room.
I don't know. Something about answering "what did you do on Sunday?" Seems odd when the reply is, painted, went to the grocery store, put a restraint device on my bed.
Don't patronize me, I thought of that on peyote, so it was basically like a message from God.
You left a bit of molly on the table and my mom found it. She asked what it was, I said "not drugs"
She believed me because "leaving that much behind on the table would be a waste so obviously it's not drugs."
It has now been 10 days since we last saw Sebastians penis
Well, that's not my fault. I make decisions all the time when I'm drunk.
ya I had reallllllly good sex last night too that will probably get me evicted
Randomize
