Getting fucked up met up rando with a girl I confesswed my love for last night. weird, going with it
sent the pic of my tit to the wrong bbm chatroom
He booked us a hotel at a resort in cancun for sprng break... I just wanted to get laid this weekend when i was blackout i didnt know it was gonna spiral into a mess of events like a 5 month in advance commitment
Either way, he made a blog for his cat.
Oh my God, I want him to live with his face in my vagina forever.
I'm pretty sure blacking out is a coping mechanism.
Dude. I am seriously trying SO hard not to be amused by Honey Boo Boo. But the fact is, she just got a mani pedi with her gay uncle Poodle, and he got a discount because he only has nine toes, and I am ALL IN.
i just came to a realization. Besides probably food, in my lifetime i think i have spent more money on legal fees than anything else
I just added a bunch of arbitrary options to my ouija board. Ghosts can now tell me "cheddar," "the homosexual agenda," "the whole foods vegan aisle," or "viable offspring"
I had to break it to her that she was not in fact behind the bushes when she peed on the church last night
There's a kid in the back of the class drinking out of a flask. Like what is going on?
NOW HE'S DRINKING OUT OF A HANDLE. WHO IS THIS KID?
What can I say I sleep with 40 year old Cougars because my mother gave me away at birth and apparently that's why says my therapist
You don't know the capacity of my vagina
You were lost on foot. Texted us and told us that N*Sync couldn't save you, and then you "met Jesus" in your car.
On another note, I kinda only wanna poop laying down now
Randomize
