if you force a hooker to have sex with you and dont pay her would it be rape or theft? something to ponder
Mental picture: Us at a bar keeping it classy shot gunning PBR's in the corner.
That was a good example of when keeping it real goes right
Breakfast of vicodin and eggs out of a solo cup at about three in the afternoon on a wednesday...I have my life together
i have to start hiding my credit card when i drink i woke up this morning with 4 emails from Farmville telling me i spent over $800 on coins last night
My balls had bee stings let's just leave it at that.
Giving me the bigger bowl of ramen isn't considered "romantic"
I gave you a 45 minute blowjob. You were inside me for 3 minutes. I'm going to need you to get your shit together.
I just bought $54 in Easter crap to try and blend in the pregnancy test... And FYI, it totally worked.
You made a glowstick headband with a helium balloon tied around it and climbed a tree in high heels. I was impressed.
What does puking wasabi feel like?
Like snorting cocaine backwards.
Is it bad that I want a job purely so I can buy drugs with without feeling like I am sacrificing my future?
Why do you think I have a job?
I would just like to point out that a bandaid led to sex. The lesson here is always have a bandaid in your wallet.
On another note I never thought having a drug addicted stalker would prove useful
I just told my bowl "sorry" for putting it down, because I thought I hurt its feelings. omg. I'm high.
I want to ride that like one of the Horsemen of the Apocalypse- with bourbon in hand and without mercy.
Randomize
