it cannot be done, he is unbreakable.
What?
..he cannot be seduced..she had to have roofied him.
Details.
Best text conversation ever. Other than the one we had about using blood for lube.
while 90% of the female population goes to worship a fictional character tonight at midnight, I will be taking advantage of having the bars ALL TO MYSELF.
just cockblocked my boss's 17 year old son at the Christmas party
Housing came buy and confiscated our shopping cart :(
Apparently I was holding on to a pizza crust for hours last night.
Went to the strip club with my aunt. Do you know how hard it is to be a pervert in front of your female family members?
Eating pizza and drinking wine while I watch the Victoria's Secret Fashion Show. The wine is for reducing the pain of falling asleep with more insecurities than what I woke up with.
Idk dude but he said something bout his "dick was gonna be so tan" then he jus jumped out of the car
Shower sex is an art that should not be attemted drunk
Life is my bitch right now. The bouncers tried to carry me out of the club, but everyone thought I was crowd surfing so everyone carried me BACK IN. Winning as fuck.
I sexted him with a GIF from titanic and it worked....
I've been trying to masturbate for the longest time now and so far I've accomplished getting tangled in my computer battery cord and phone charger and hitting my knee on my laptop.
In the words of Disney’s Jafar, “desperate times call for desperate measures.”
Of course he’s dumb. He’s got a 9 inch dick! There’s not enough blood in his body for a big dick and a big brain. It’s science
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