Please don't tell anyone I peed on your wall.
You were face down, at your computer, surrounded by beer bottles listening a bagpipes version of amazing grace.
Well, if your day started with strippers, then we're tied. Otheriwse, I'm winning.
He walked into my room in the middle of the night, whispered something about the patriot act, and took my tv.
Atlanta road trip update. Jimmy fell into the petting tank at the aquarium. And freaked out. With cops now... Keep you posted
I would come over if there was not the impending fear of me shitting out my brains.
Oh hey. I left my beer there. Beer is more important than my pride. I want to pick that up.
I broke a glass at the bar and ended up with blood on my forehead. I apparently kept screaming BLOOD like the little boy in that YouTube video.
In the officer's defense, I was indeed pantless at the time he cuffed me, but there's a perfectly good explanation.
I believe the only reason I am slightly functional right now is the leftover drugs in my nose that I keep sniffing
Can you please bring the nipple sombrero up?
I told him he had to put his dick inside of me at approx 1159 to ensure it was birthday sex. i was 19 when he entered me.. came out 20. winning.
If it's any consolation she turned out to be has a collection of clown dolls she talks to crazy. And the cops knew why I was calling when she key locked the door from inside.
I want to ride that like one of the Horsemen of the Apocalypse- with bourbon in hand and without mercy.
Ahhh, beer. My second favorite breakfast drink.
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