once we finished he held up the condom and asked if i wanted to keep it as a souvenir.
oh and he was serious.
just overheard a conversation that ended in "and that's what I learned in France" How could that not have been about sex
just peed in the tub. didnt notice the passed out drunk guys there until a minute in
I'm sitting in my bathroom sink, eating a tuna sandwich. He had better weed than I expected.
we where pretty evenly matched until he threw me through that wall
It's a 2 hour train ride a 7 in the morning, of course we're bringing alcohol
its likemy ribs anf my hesrt aew cuddlingn
Damn you and your Monday night power hours.
I think I reached optimum potential when I summersaulted straight into a kiddie pool.
No, earlier you attempted Jenga with everyones shoes.
SHUT UP I CAN'T HEAR YOU OVER THE SOUND OF UKULELE AND LONLINESS
Pretty sure my boss knows there's Jack smell coming out of my pores right now... He just gave me a look...
I only spent $42 at the bar last night, it's some sort of miracle.
you do remember it was dollar beer night, right?
That answers my next five questions
Can we get pizza? This is seriously not a booty call. I just really want someone to get pizza with me.
If you needed to get laid tonight all you had to do was ask
He passed out in my car.
What's the problem?
HE'S STILL IN MY FUCKING CAR.
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