He told me I remind him of his sister...
Was this before or after you did it?
before... I mean, it's been a long time. I just tried not to think of it during.
I had a bacon mcgriddle for the first time today. It was like eating a baby angel.
her name was charlotte except you kept calling her chatroulette and yelling at her to show you her boobs
It was like god placed me in his bed and said," here's your shot girl. Don't mess this up." And I looked at god and laughed in his face.
Its not personal, its just business. I'm the Donald Trump of blowjobs.
Drunk you assumed that me saying I thought squirrels were cute meant for you to trap one in my car by luring it in with ham. You're going to hell for this.
I hate that you live in a gated community. I feel your guard judges me every time I go to your house at 3 am an leave at 5am
His penis is small and he doesnt like Harry Potter. HE HAS NO REDEEMING QUALITIES WHAT AM I EVEN DOING HERE
Fair enough. Everyone has some guilty pleasures. Yours is yourself
You said you wanted to wrap his dick in a tortilla and make a spicy burrito. Let me just say, most girls don't have this hard of a time getting laid.
You're the only one to love me enough for me to admit the following: Rock-bottom sounds like sobbing to a Miley Cyrus song.
He just asked me to be his girlfriend while having sex on his parents kitchen counter
COCAINE IS GR8
You fist bumped my dick last night saying good game. That you'll be back for the 2nd game...
You know tonight's gonna be a good night when your already planning on sleeping in a trunk
Randomize
