so im watching realhousewives of jersey with my mom. she just said they werent really rich bc they were doing their own makeup.
i think the sales of Rosetta Stone are directly related to the size of that woman's tit's
Thank God they found balloon boy, I was afraid that Michael Jackson was ordering take out from heaven.
She made Precious look like a solid 6.5.
Just found a bag of weed nailed to the door that my dealer dropped off since I wasn't home. God I love Boulder.
I have come to realize that my purpose in life is less musical and more as a filter of alcohol into water.
STOP TELLING PEOPLE I PEED ON YOU
I took 36 pictures of my lava lamp. your weed wins.
I've got my wine, though it wasnt very good so I threw a sour patch kid in it
He made me keep his swollen nut cold with frozen bags of peas while rubbing his tummy because he said I had no choice.
Ok spinning in the opposite direction thatg the room was spinning was the worst advice ever
I miss her, but also fucked her ex boyfriend.... So there's that
Yeah you burned that bridge with your vagina
He had to put his grandma's photo away before I tied him to the bed. She doesn't need to see any of that.
She was riding me and giving me score updates to the basketball game at the same time..... Shes a keeper
My toothbrush tastes like captain morgan
I'm jealous
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