Do you think an esthetician would be willing to wax the Chanel Cs into my crotch? That way, whenever a guy gets ready to pound on it I can go "Careful, it's Chanel."
Just watched Hilary Duff have a three-some on Gossip Girl...all I could imagine was that LIzzie Maguire cartoon girl freaking out above their heads
It's like a toaster oven for my penis
she cut her forehead open playing a drunken game of pin the tail on the donkey and now she's having a panic attack.
I just duct taped myself into my costume. I apologize in advance if you find me in a compromised position involving duct tape and underwear when you get home tonight
I won the booty shaking contest by mooning the whole bar
i remember going to sleep after the 4th time i threw up this morning and hoping i didn't have to again because then it would be uneven between saturday and sunday. my ocd is getting out of control
I bet his dick wears a tuxedo.
Did I tell you I bit someone's arm for you last night
Dude. I've never been with a guy who just wanted to go down on me all the time including while I'm shooting zombies on call of duty. My life is complete.
I just wanted to be nice to your dick and you are rhyming at me.
SKIIIIIIIIIIII, trip mo foes! Let-ith the epic- ness begin ith. Heroes go forth, nAy Sayers fuckin die. This is for the good of mankind! See you on the morrow
Apologies to the number who did not expect to get this but certainly be jealous of us.
Did she seriously come back inside just to piss on the kitchen floor?
Vacuum the place before you go out of town there are random glitter cocks everywhere
I just bought condoms and a potted plant, making for a top ten super weird and awkward purchase.
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