Megan Fox is the only woman I would let pee on me.
I'm similar. She's the only woman I'd ask to pee on me.
Ok yeah you're right. I'd ASK Megan Fox to pee on me. I'd ALLOW Erin Andrews to pee on me if she asked.
I'm currently imdbing Helena Bonham Carter to see if there are any pictures of her that don't scare the crap out of me.
Good luck with that.
John Mayer's mother should have swallowed him when she had the chance.
As in blowjob or cannibalism?
I was thinking blowjob, but either would've been a better idea than giving him a record deal.
So on facebook, the pictures from my church mission trip are right up next to the pictures of my first time on E. Sorry Jesus.
i wrote her a fucking poem. i better get laid for that
i've never seen someone face fit so perfectly in a toilet bowl
He just asked if I would make his black snake moan. Dating basketball players is not worth the glory
I'm standing outside of the bar watching homeless men teach a kid how to pee of the sidewalk.
We sat on the porch laughing about hilarious the sunrise was. And that we can do drugs again in the morning, thank god
So I'm trying to figure out if starting the day running around the quad in a black t-shirt and bikini w/ a drawn on mustache is a good way to start the day...
I can't keep up with all the guys you're banging. I'm just going to start referring to them by city of origin.
wanna mail me your GoPro for St.Patties and I'll mail it back to you coverend in puke?
Like I'm sorry but "it'll be fine trust me" IS NOT VERY REASSURING ASSHAT. Now take off your pants.
Dad's teaching me to make moonshine this weekend as "college prep". How scared should I be sis?
Yea...Let's just say I gave her the best 3 and half minutes of her life then she took a 40 minute cab ride home that she paid for...
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