Goddamnit I hate your level headedness
I feel like if your cat could talk she would call me a cunt.
After she swallowed she let out a hurge burp. No BS. I'm the cock of the walk.
I think you have the wrong number. But at any rate, respect.
either way he was missing a nipple.
You guys were grinding to YMCA. I knew you were going to hook up with him.
you were on ground yelling about how close the floor was to your face.
You have no idea what this goes for my ego. I literally made you cum in your sleep.
I feel like you guys are talking about real things and have real problems and I'm just over here like 'should I take muscle relaxers or get drunk tonight?'
He said he looked out his window and I was sitting in the grass with blood everywhere talking to a dog.
I want you to know that the guy who peed in your bed got fat.
This guy is like Don Jon! Im over here this weekend and at least four times I've heard porn on his phone thru the bathroom door.
Shroomed with my best friend'a dad at his wife's surprise birthday party so you can say I have experience in the field
Great news. I WILL BE FUCKING IN A BOUNCY HOUSE TOMORROW.
I'm sorry I couldn't bail you out, apparenty they dont take credit cards over the phone. Did you at least make any friends in jail?
Im blaming it on six shots of Jack, loneliness and a chemical imbalance. That's the best I can think of...
Randomize
