he confessed his love for me, threw up on my pillow and then fell asleep on said pillow. i met him last night.
better than last weekend. things are really looking up for you.
Do u think I can claim pregnancy as an accident so my insurance covers it?
i wish the dell website had a "did you drink an entire bottle of rum and stepped on your laptop which shattered the screen this weekend and would like to know how to fix it without your parents finding out FAST?" link on their homepage.. i can't be the only one
I came home ate all of my roomates poptarts and then vommited on her duvet cover. I don't think today is the day to suggest the whole "sex instead of rent money" idea
Boxed wine mondays was one of our finer ideas
making an indian outfit so we can be pochohantas and john smith and fuck in the canoe on the night float
Skip school. Seven hour blow job Plus Disney movies. Day of champions
If I had that in my pants Omg I would want a shirt made so everyone knew
went to their party, left halfway through to fuck a pledge, came back to keep drinking. I think everyone won.
We go out, we get drunk, we watch Star Wars, we pass out. What's wrong with this tradition?
I wanna riverboat gamble on your vaginal waters. Just sayin
I'm sorry, I'm tired, I can't play long distance cockblock anymore. Good night don't get too pregnant.
You threw a beachball full of vodka at me and yelled I CHOOSE YOU then ran
I wish drug dealers had sales for the holidays
She thinks I cheated on her 10 years ago in a past life lmao
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