WOAH SHIT! That wasn't my girlfriend last night.
Update. It gets worse. A) he's done viagra and B) he wears socks at all times.
I woke up in what appears to be a taco bell graveyard in my bed.
Studying for the exam.. Identifying the portraits using phrases like "large penis"
Sorry about your blender, your tiolet, your weed, and your dog...
I'm eager to hear this explaination.
I think we can all look back on last night and categorize it under, " reason why Cory can't be left at the bar by himself"
You guys can't keep having sex with them and cleaning their house! They're never going to take you seriously!
he can get married early and ruin his life but he sure as hell isn't ruining mine with a shitty bachelor party
I went from looking for a bong to home decor in a 10 minute span. This is what being an adult is all about!
My one regret (beside the inevitable shit storm that followed) is that now I can't fuck his cute friend.
I woke up in the middle of the night with my dick out and my electric blanket on high. It's like she wanted a hot dog.
Well I only snuggle him I don't hump him. That's rude.
Also I like oatmeal more than sex.
Sorry I missed your call. I was in the shower washing away my sins and sweat. Please tell me you want to get drunk as shit later.
Can you confirm that you aren't dead?
Randomize
