I don't know which is more embarrassing, the fact that I shat on the floor today or that I told you about it.
I just single handedly caused ferngully by printing the wrong 900 page document
I just read the lonely terrorist on nwa had 40 more friends than me on facebook
We're friends with people in his circle of friends so we're half way in. It's like I've already given him a hand job.
She wants an explanation of my cousins creepy foot fetish with my god sister. i don't know how I can sum this up in a text.
Just saw two dudes run across the street carrying a mini keg and a scaled model of the empire state building. Missed this town
and then you looked me right in the eyes and said "i just really wanna pet some horses right now"
turns out that the cat the james was trying to catch was a raccoon. call me when you get this, i need an ER buddy
Sex on the scooter in the parking lot wasn't the smartest idea. Actual quote from the cop as he handed me the ticket and fist bumped me.
So my roommate just came out of the shower with a dude...guess that answers all questions as to whether or not he's gay
Our first time hooking up was on New Years and we've managed to hook up every holiday since, I'm hoping this lasts until 2016 just to fulfill my American Holiday sex fantasy I never knew I had
Who died my cat blue again?
This reminds me of the time you were crying and puking in the toilet at that party while i did shots of tequila in between blow drying your feet. miss you!
Ok so I need a recap of last night...
YOU SPENT SIX DOLLARS AT NICKEL BEER NIGHT!!! How's that
Anyhow. He gives me orgasms and cuddles and buys me dinner and alcohol. Ill keep him around and cross that other girl bridge when we get there ha ha
Randomize
