We better get laid next semester cause I prayed hard
I even walked 30 feet with my eyes closed from two love rocks so that we get some cock
I'm customer of the month for a 3rd time now at the Wine store. I've achieved so much in my life
Oh nbd. She just had sex with a divorcee. On a charter bus. At 10 a.m. On a Thursday.
It is 9pm, let the ass parade to the bars begin
Nah its cool some of my cousins have fucked the same girls and brought them on family vacations and everything.
you are never too drunk for berry picking
It's 3:30pm, I've been out of bed for an hour and spent most of that barfing. We're switching to beer next debate.
thanks for not telling him i named my trumpet after his dick
Why did you make me get in the car with you and then not give me a ride? I woke up in a bar with a blanket on me.
i threw up in his garden in front of like five people smoking a joint. they let me have a hit after i was done so it was okay
I mean with a sentence like that I knew I would be cumming
It's not even 11, i dropped a shot glass, nick is bleeding, and everyone is drunk
You declared that afternoon sex will be referred to as "wet naps" from now on
Update: they told me I was twerking to twenty one pilots
He broke both of his legs jumping out of a window to escape a coyote.
Randomize
