I just saw the dad from "Little People Big World" at the airport. I chased him down and congratulated him for beating the DUI.
I don't want her to kill herself before she gets over me, getting mentioned in a suicide note isn't very fly.
but it's kind of a high honor.
Being drunk at the hospital is better than i expected. I got to hide and play in the little kids waiting area. Btw no one is hurt
It's 5:30am in Vegas and I'm eating McDondalds next to crying prostitutes.....low point.
I hope in my next life I'm a sterile trophy wife. With a husband who showers me in wealth and gifts but can't get a hard on. Do you think my karma is good enough for that?
if you just come over, i will entertain you
arguing about the color of your bong does not count as entertainment
So if her brother fucks my brother, can I just tell her that anal sex is in her genes?
dude I just found tht weird ass guy u invited last night passed out in my closet.... apparently he "couldn't find the exit"
Client visitor days are the worst. If I have to wear a tie and can be hungover at least have the decency to find some more attractive visitors
I was thinking about the biological process causing me to puke while I was puking. THAT'S how much I'd been studying.
I woke up naked buried in snacks. Best night ever.
just blew him in the library. I am a classy dame
we bonded over knowing every word to freaky gurl by gucci mane so it’s kinda starting to make sense why I gave him head in his cul de sac
We finally gave up searching because everything had started to look like flip flops
Alex thinks he can revoke my dick privileges haha.
Isn't he the one getting all the privileges ?
Randomize
