So I got my period. Finally. In related news, I reinstated my belief in God.
First drunken handjob: not successful. Second handjob, mostly sober: much better. Nightly news brought to you by me.
I told them I got hit by a car again and now im pretty sure they think im being abused but there was no way in hell the truth was going to fly. Employed people aren't supposed to break their faces in piggy back ride accidents.
not much just sitting outside his bathroom door naked eating cheetoes. You?
Its completely acceptable to go naked under my graduation gown right?
Some ppl might frown upon it but theyre prudes
yeah the cable guy is coming and everybody is hiding all the pieces in the house. we are up to thirty two. like a fun game of smokable scavener hunt.
you're right. i am beautiful. like a May day. frolicking in a meadow of wildflowers. platinum in one hand. pipe in the other. that kind of beautiful.
Besides the one of you shaking your cock for 10sec that was one of the best snapchat's ever haha
Saw 2 lesbians fist fighting outside the bar tonight. I was startled yet slightly turned on
Woke up to the frozen soundtrack blasting in the living room best one night stand ever
Her blow jobs are legen wait for it seriously like 9 people I know brag about them dary
you never keep up with shots anymore
I'm trying to be more responsible these days
you fucking tried to take your pants off and pee in Taco Bell's parking lot
if i drink i'll go into liver failure but ok
totally worth it, dude its $1 pbr
Soooo you're telling me you support us groom's men giving lap dances to willing patrons?
He’s got a big dick and a big ego. This could be fun
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