Please stop sending me picture messages of your shit. Seriously. I don't care if it looks like popcorn chicken.
shes got a 6th sense for me cheating...the the hailey joel osmound of me getting bjs
My parents foreign exchange student just walked in on me whacking off. Welcome to America :)
There is a contact in my phone named "Bar Mcntysu." this is why we need a third person to go out with us.
now that you've tased me I refuse to buy you flowers
They're doing shots to celebrate every 15 minutes passing. You can come get them.
Well she started to strip and when she slung her hair at me, she painted my face with sweat. A LOT OF SWEAT. It was a weird boner.
The highlight of my night was when you proclaimed that the man standing next to you smelt like grape medicine...
I just had a spiritual connection with my sweater and did ballet in the hallway. Alone. I'd say we're gonna chalk that up as a win for marijuana and call it a night
Decided to make myself tequila gummy bears but got impatient and just drank the bowl of tequila.
I'm 22 and I'm drinking hawaiian punch from a sippy cup. Everything is right in the world.
I may or may not have spent student loan money on a vibrator, that falls under living expenses right?
One day when i undoubtedly need an intervention please let it include lightsabers.
I think I can handle that.
In a few weeks I'll be a beautiful butterfly and me and my cat will have to repopulate the earth. WE WILL REBUILD!!
Listen gotta draw the line somewhere. Apparently that line is at my nuts.
Randomize
