yeah i just made her a character on oregon trail and i hope she gets dysentry and dies. that'll show her.
YouTube is recomending me a video on how to make a home made meth bong, what has my life come to?
one of the cashiers from Kroger is eating at my kitchen table and nobody knows why.
But you wanna know what the sadest part is? I had to smoke on the way back home cause my mom would be suspicious if I wasn't high after I was supposedly hanging out with you.
No I'm done finals, but I'm not coming home until these hickeys are gone.
well, duh, but it's like you don't even want to see me masturbate with a wine bottle.
Someday, but I will be heavily drugged and there will be no dolphins.
She just shoved like three McNuggets in her mouth and started sobbing and I have no idea what's going on.
The $10 cab ride turned into a $60 cab ride when you puked down the back of his seat trying to whisper in his ear. He was a trooper though, he came into to wash off in the sink and still tried to get your number.
ARE YOU THINKING VAGINA THEMED RESTAURANT
Doap. Just bring some lube and a slingshot. Not sure y we need the slingshot.
Still not over the fact that we prayed to Jesus to help us win beer pong
I blew past the Governor's motorcade going twice the speed limit and DIDN'T get a ticket. God wants me to get laid.
SHE MASTURBATED TO THE THOUGHT OF ME HAVING AN ALL DUDE THREESOME WITH HER EX BOYFRIENDS.
I just checked and if you bring a picture of your ex they will shred it and give you a free 'hater shot'. Would it be too much to print off one of their wedding pictures and bring it?
I really love that you're not going the 'why am I not married and having a kid yet?' route, but rather 'thank god I dodged that bullet'
Randomize