no homo or anything but the way you were dancing with that girl gave me a boner
So there is a chick dressed up in a vagina costume handing out free condoms next to the dude handing out free Bibles and preaching about sin. I love college.
we're making bets on your personal life
Judging that there's a photo of me getting head while sitting on a graveyard tombstone.....not good.
I wonder if our vaginas are like "o thank god, no strangers breaking in tonight." Baahhhh sooo bad
Things bear mace does not do: repel bears. Things bear mace does do: piss off bears, give bystanders asthma attacks. Lesson learned
He came up to me looked at my tits said they were huge, rated them a 7 and then asked if girls really do masterbate. To make it better, he put his hand up to my face and said his penis is longer than my face...
rigging a system to keep my jello shots cold in class. important election day work.
The problem with having a roommate is that you are forced to answer the age old question "Are you okay?"
Whenever someone tells me they've never met a bisexual, I feel like a majestic fucking unicorn.
She's takin more dicks this month than I have in my life by the sounds of it
Help I can't tell if I'm sexually attracted to Bill Nye
Oh.
You came to the right person.
No, no... It was great. I feel like my liver took a vodka shower and washed it's hair with pabst
I got dominos and had to stop whilst eating and take a moment of silence for how good it was
I am going to constantly be reminded of you for the next couple of days because of how sore my vagina is. It's just the price I have to pay.
Randomize
