I just rubbed my dick on something in your apartment. Can you guess what?
the girl I was having sex with just mumbled victory for msu during sex. i love basketball season
My doctor literally wrote on the script NO SEX
theres a kid face down in the middle of campus... people are going about their day and paying no attention to him
we took shots then she made me eat a dill pickle with cream cheese wrapped in a piece of turkey.
Sorry for drunk singing "love hurts" to you at 3 am.
he went at my nipples like a starved dog.
So how was your new years? Did u ride a horse at 3am in zero degree weather? Because I sure did
What I do when I'm blackout drunk is none of my business.
I think you handled your pregnancy scares better than that cricket in your bathroom
How does a face ride mean we're back together?
You can't give me tequila around boys who have girlfriends. That ain't new.
I had sex in the back of a hot foreign guy with a lacoste eye patch's car
What are we just gonna be those girls that get fucked in your parents basement and not get taken to dinner? I don't wanna be those girls.
Someone made a Christmas song to the Flintstones theme and I'm suing for emotional distress.
Randomize
