i just pissed myself at work. maybe they'll buy the old coffee spill trick
The way white people respond to them, you'd think Journey was the president of Caucasia.
Does this mean you'll turn into an Albanian at the next full moon?
This boy just came into class wearing sperrys and a polo but also carrying a longboard. I'm unequivocably attracted to his level of doucheyness.
You told the bartender you needed 2 beers, and a shot of his cum...
Just saw a field sobriety test being administered at 730 am, I now know I do not have a drinking problem
The dingo escaped by eating a hole through my screen door. It's loose in the city somewhere.
I just wish I could congratulate your tits on how much I love seeing them
I just sneezed and it made my entire body ache. Hungover is an understatement
She looks well worn, presumably from a cavalcade of penis.
my life is turning into trapped in the closet at way too fast a speed for me to feel comfortable.
We're gonna have to check the security cameras after last night
then I ended up getting a lapdance from my TA...I love college.
I'm not fucking any of these fools. But if they want to buy me Olive Garden, that's their business.
Dude whoeverrs house this is has only creeam cheese and beer in the fridge. Thats my kinda diet
Randomize
