Don't cheat on me with the blonde bimbo religi freak
I wouldn't touch her with a ten foot pole
She's blonde
$4 taco and $400 parking ticket. i am not a cheap date.
I just withdrew $200 in ones. I think the teller knew what was up
Am i fat?
Well i wouldnt let you on top
Did you get your crutches off the street sign?
I had this image of some guy in a taco truck down by the IMA accosting you for a peep show.
Just saw a tranny in a skimpy captain america costume walking around campus. Going to follow her. You gotta see this
Does it make me immature that I debated going to this baby shower stoned, or am I normal as shit and everyone our age are having babies too young?
To confirm, you are a grown ass man and you just asked me what her vag looked like.
My plan for the weekend: 1) Get shit faced in Vegas. 2) Not die
So, Cheetos don't microwave great.
Before he gave me the breathelizer, he told me to "blow like you're blowing your boyfriend". I like him. My tax dollars are well spent
Had sex in a blanket fort. How was your weekend?
EW HE LOOKS LIKE SOMEONE'S DAD
His sex game is strong it’s like a warlord’s dick! you know what I mean?
Nope
Randomize
