it's not gay if you rub your penis between their butt cheeks and pretend they are tits
you should probably quit with the whole "no homo" thing, especially when you are drunk, "mo homo"gives the wrong impression.
you jizzed all over me and yelled "makeover"
If you bang a chick other than your girlfriend while playing tiger woods on xbox I wonder if an accomplishment would come up...
His shopping cart was nothing but malt liquor and zucchini.
does anyone know how to get red sharpie out of a white cat?
I just met his wife...she told me they have been having marriage problems and are spending his paychecks on marriage counseling...then she cried on my shoulder...NOW i feel like a bitch.
I cleared a drunken path to my bed for you. If you hit clothes you've gone too far.
Typical Sunday afternoon purchase of condoms and a helium tank.
Sunday is a myth, I refuse to believe that I waste an entire day unable to function after a night of drinking.
We just stood there eating chocolate chip pancakes, watching you sleep on the bathroom floor.
Just found some confetti on my nipple if that's any indicator of how the night went
I dunno, there's just something so\ncomforting about having his penis in my mouth.
Dude, I totally just made my launch phrase on my new phone "Wingardium Leviosa" so that when people try it and it doesn't work I can say, "It's leveeOHsa, not leveeoh-SA."
Why can't he see that I don't want a slow getting to know you period? I just want to bone. NOW.
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