He still wants to giggity, regardless of his girlfriend. So...I guess I'm happy again.
I feel like sober is me a distant relative that I only see on christmas..
i was picked up off the floor by a stripper, if thats not a new life low then i dont know what is.
im calling her cock vulture from now on
12 trash cans filled with water. Beer cans floating in each, 12 ft apart. Dodgeball. Ultimate beer pong.
Rules. We have to wear superhero outfits
Oh god iv'e slept with this police officer before oh god oh god
I feel like vibrating beds are just synonymous with venereal diseases.
Id prob hit it, but i instagram edited her picture to make her look better. Ha. She should fuck me just for that.
The problem with drugs is that there's none in this hotel
The problem with drugs is that showing my boobs only gets so much of them
i woke up this morning put my hand under the pillow and there was a banana there
we are not getting arrested this weekend. I don't care who I have to blow its just not happening.
I know I drink too much cuz "ssssjllapph peneinssesss" automatically comes up in my phone now.
Theres a free llama on craigslist. Are you in or are you in?
R.I.P my virginity. TOD 12:37pm
It actually wasn't the first time that a guy I just met ate me out in the back seat of his car in a starbucks parking lot in the middle of the day.
Randomize
