so evidently yelling "gay" everytime your bf tells you how he feels is cause for breakup. news to me
can i drink enough to forget this semester even happened?
Still waiting. He said he'd call between 2 and 10... apparently he's like the Comcast of drug dealers.
he literaly had industrial grade plastic underneth his blankets
I don't know why people felt they couldn't use the toilet with me passed out in the tub. I shut the curtain. It was like being in another room.
I sat in the bathroom on the counter and gave out advice to all the random people that walked in
Hey fuck you and your taint. I'm just riding a canoe called life, back the fuck off. P.s. I need a ride
Going to rent a magician for when I eat shrooms. How has no one thought of this?
she asked me where ive been her entire life and the guy in the room next to us yelled "with other women bitch!"
This is irresponsible on your part, leaving me alone in a bar.
We let him drunkenly pack his own bags without checking them. Yet no one was surprised when the TSA girl pulled a 12 pack out of his carry on.
God I need to stop before there's a picture of my dick on my mom's phone.
I can't take my grandparents out somewhere where I've fucked half the staff.
Plus we had to have sex before the game because there is a good chance we won’t be speaking for the rest of the week. #ironbowl
I do not recommend playing football on LSD like at all
Randomize
