the drag queen on stage looks like shes wearing the EXACT same dress i wore 2 senior prom.
just upgraded from jello shots to jello bowls blacking out just got that much more delicious
still haven't packed clothes. only wine. gotta love spring break
Ive been tazing him too get him immuned. He will be unstopable.
Freshman just walked up and thanked me for letting him hide under my bed when the cops showed up to the house last weekend
What's the best way to say, "it's too early in our relationship to leave me at your place alone"? Steal something?
At this point can I suggest a mail away bride. You judge Nick but you are a strange dude and that may be your ticket.
Sex on the scooter in the parking lot wasn't the smartest idea. Actual quote from the cop as he handed me the ticket and fist bumped me.
I am at 99 matches in less than 24 hours, I need a tinder rehab program
WHY IS SHE PANDERING YOU, A SIMPLE GOBLIN, TINY WEENER PICTURES OVER STATE LINES
Why are my jeans soaking wet and smell like chlorine??
Bc u told a stranger in the hotel "I have sinned' and made him get into the hotel fountain and "baptize u". I've got a vid
Now just crop his dad out and add it to the spank bank.
Its like my group of friends and I are all dating and we're all just a bunch of Swingers, is that normal?
I broke my wrist trying to give him a blow job...
And this is why we can’t have nice things
You did what with his pubic hair?
Randomize
