weak ass sauce last night. waste of time. you suck. ps. your boobs are fake
Steel Reserve is the RC Cola of alcohol. It's never ok.
I successfully cooked a taquito with a lighter! My stomach hurts now tho.. im either guna blame it on the undercooked taquito or im feeling guily about porkin my brothers gf a lil bit ago
Foreign porn with subtitles is a little disappointing.
He skyped me to learn how to roll a joint and for us to masturbate together. And you said a long distance relationship wouldn't work.
His bootycalls folder in his contacts are divided into regions, we should have all become airline pilots.
One of two things would happen: He'd love it, or you'd get a restraining order.
I thought it was a drawer and tried to pull it out and it wasnt a drawer it was the police call button. I hate everything.
At no time is it ever okay for my doctor to compliment my tattoos, when giving me a physical exam.......
I have fuck me eyes 4/5 people agree. It's like doctors or dentists but with ppl who have lots of sex and know these things.
My vibrator looks like a lipstick tube. So does my mace. I just realized the potential problems of keeping them both in the same bag.
Yeeeaahhh, I'm in no rush to dismiss a level 6 booty-call that pays my bar tabs and understands my Harry Potter obsession.
Let me know. Show me one boob if yes. 2 if no
Just fell out of the attic onto the garage floor. Okay but might go for an x ray. Smashed one of the kitchen drawers to bits.
Holy Shit Mom
one week and then i'm back on the sexual grind. a party is being planned in my vagina's honor
Randomize
