Hehe I wanna Australian kiss.. Its like a French kiss but down under ;)
Disadvantage of being gay..... my gag reflexes makes trying to make myself throw up extremely difficult.
I wasn't fucked. I was just drunk, because i was still able to walk into the woods and masterbate.
he wanted to have sex on the little rocking chair but i was too high to figure out how to do that so we did it on the floor.
I didnt shave my beard last night, so I could feel it while Im shrooming today
i feel as uncomfortable as your camel toe looks.
My vagina would be awesome. I would be the most popular girl in the village.
No need to call an exterminator, the ants overdosed on the leftover lines on the counter.
i only avoided him because he looked like he was about to have a heart attack and i didnt feel like doing cpr on my day off.
what type of emt are you
I've literally already typed in by booty call text for friday night. all I have to do now is wait for is drunk me to press send
The last thing I remember was naked hot tub and taking a shot and using the hot tub water as a chaser. Not acceptable.
I heard the bride mutter "I should have brought a fucking tranquilizer". I'm not at all surprised that you got banned from the bar afterwards.
I biked home blackout drunk last night, but I have some memory of throwing my bike in a rage when I couldnt get it down the stairs. No idea on the bright orange puke in the sink.
I want you to remember that you started masturbating in front of a car full of people. That drunk.
He told me my car had really nice leather seats right before he jizzed all over them.
Randomize
