I'm seriously so bored I'm seeing how many rooms I can masturbate in before I get caught.
Four. Poor grandma...
Signed everyone in my dorm up for free samples of astroglyde. Took me an hour. Happy new years!!!!!
just got high and bedazzled my bra. other than bleeding from the prongs life is so good.
Just checked an empty cooler on the flight to Notre Dame. You don't have to tell me you're jealous, I already know.
honestly, i just want you to have sex with him too so that you can fully understand my appreciation of his dick as well.
I can honestly say I've never had orange soda poured on my vagina before, that's a story for the grand kids
I'm ultimately at thr Shariton to drink and ppssibly puke on fancy shit. Thats my story and Im sticking to it.
I danced on the street to dubstep on a boombox for an hour with a lesbian single mother.
She left a blanket, pillow, a glass of water, and two advils in the bathroom for me. It's like she knew. Best room mate ever.
I feel that my cleavage set an unattainably high bar for 2013.
I just put bronzer on my abs to snapchat nudes. If that's not going hard I don't know what is
Who knew that showing someone your boobs would make them stop crying.
And what in gods fuck were you drinking. It tasted like windex with a mixture of juce
My cats name is now jello shot. How much do you love me right now?
“On a break” is implied when it’s a Russian chick dressed as Black Widow wearing Minnie Mouse ears
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