Thanks for last night it was amazing as always
What are you talking about
You've got to be kidding me
U know its gonna be a great day when the guy at the liquor store waves at u cause u walked by
just saw an old couple make out...not too sure how I feel about it. though I will admit at one point I was thinking "oh yeah! get that!"
it tastes like there's a party in my mouth and everyone is throwing up
My mom is such a hoarder. I found a deer candelabrum last night, it had antlers has candle holders. It was like a redneck menorah.
So it's always a good weekend when you don't get any sleep, try opening a bottle of wine on rocks, and end up needing a tetanus booster for our stupidity... Same thing next weekend?
And to top it off I think that was the first time in history that anyone has used "oh just taking care of her grandmother and doing porn" in the same sentence.
So what's the moral standing on reading gay porn on your phone whilst sitting next to your 87 year old Grandma?
I don't know anybody that can get the cops to drive them back to the bar after being pulled out of a tree
it happenes
in a meeting in my bathtub while predrinkin for tonight. technology.
God specifically crafted these hands to deal out orgasms.
No clue what you did last night, sorry. You did hand me a pizza and a mason jar with $1200 in small bills in it when I let you in though.
its like i get a dick upgrade with every new guy i screw, at this rate i'm scared to see my next one
Not drinking until my bday. I know it's only a few days but it feels like when couples get celibate before the wedding and there's all that tension.
No, he came home, unscrewed all of the lightbulbs, and threw them in the sink.
Randomize
