Every time you buy a sobe you buy a bong.
absolutely not. he will always be that kid that threw up a ham and cheese sandwich in fourth grade to me.
Dude, totally just found out that I've been washing my hair with semen for the past 3 weeks.
I told him if I was pregnant we were coming out to the people at work, because I'm not pretending to get knocked up by an imaginary boyfriend.
I miss you more than I would miss junk food if I went on a diet. And you've seen me eat, you know how desperate I'd be.
Ummmm you know you're drinking vodka out of a Skittles bag, right?
If it involves mee putting on a bra and discontinuing my 11 am drinking my answer is a polite fuck YOU
He would come to class in wrapped in nothing but a pink towel
Apparently I'm a "fire hazard"
Also lets pinky promise right now that we will NOT play "Pony" outside of each other's rooms if we have a hook up over
my birth father cheated on his wife with my birth mother. it's literally in my blood to be a home wrecker.
When you trip so hard that you can see your friends thoughts through their pupils.
Woke up with a throbbing vagina and a lesbian in my bed. Then for the hell of it we had morning sex. Definitley bisexual now
Do you remember trying to eat the shower curtain last night...?
can jess come too?
sure! but I don't have enough booze for the both of you.
she comes with her own booze, no worries.
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