I'll hook up with guys I don't even like, as long as they leave early enough the next day.
I got to stop making out with my boss at work. I think we should just get it overwith, be dissaponted and move on.
i wish there was a 'silent except for booty calls' volume level on my phone
I'm proud of our boobs and what they could potentially achieve in life.
Pretty sure I left lotion and my bra in your car. I've secured your fathers belief that your straight. You can thank me later
I've got my laundry in the car, tonights 1 night stand pre-req is an in suite washer and dryer. Let's do this!
I've always wanted to pass out in a bathtub
I think most people do. Your only real mistake was turning the water on first.
I might not remember all of last night but I clearly remember the part where I humped the mailbox.
I am having the most awesome nonsexual conversation about my vagina right now
Giving you good advice and being naked are not mutually exclusive.
guys with girlfriends don't have a leg to stand on when they get mad at you for fucking other guys
There is a car windscreen wiper in my handbag... Not my car's, not ok.
A stranger came up to me, pointed at my drink and asked what it tasted like and proceeded to chug half of it and then walked away.
He kept telling me that he didn't serve two tours in Iraq for my bitch ass to drink banana rum.
So, I can officially cross "getting eaten out in a church confession booth" off my bucket list.
Randomize
