I think my favourite thing about cubicles is the fact that I can pick my nose at work
Sooo, drunk me had the sense of mind to write down everything that happened last night.....I bet you thought you'd get away with what you did to my parrot.
She kept looking at me and saying "you are the scary high".
I'm hiding her cosmo magazine. the only sex tip she needs is to not handcuff her boyfriend to her roommates bed and lose the key
My neighbor caught me peeing on his rose bushes at 2 in the morning while wearing my Santa hat. My sex appeal has never been higher.
Please come and rip my uterus out before it does it itself
You made a course evaluation for your vagina? Wow. You really are a professor now.
apparently my new 420 ritual is to look at the clock at 4:20 and realize i'm already too high
Did you put pizza in my boxers last night?
I left you 4 hours ago. Have you been walking around with shit in your pants all day?
Love these next 4 months. Wake up from a college football hangover and get to put your hand down your pants and watch NFL football all day.
Do you remember when you first moved into my parents house with me and we came home to find that my dad bolted the headboard to the wall
My ass is in a myriad of pain right now
Lesson learned - Taco Bell before a long night of BDSM is a BAD idea
In all the years we have had drunk sex, have we ever done it in a bed?
You're an adult now and it's your vagina. You should do what it or you wants.
The kid with the ed hardy shirt put a bunch of random shit in the washer and turned it on. example: a hanger, the movie Chocolate with Johnny Depp, and your mom's cat
Randomize
