Uhh me and Jacque peed on the street outside the bar last night and wiped with flowers. I vaguely remember her repeating the word "fresh" over and over.
im pretty sure one of the guys i was dancing with at graffiti wrote on my back "you rock". now feel like a danced with a 5 year old.
The heaters out again. Makin a fire in thebroke toilet for warmth.
dude he was laying on two half-naked chicks, as they rubbed him down with lotion, while rolling a joint. hes like a modern-day african king
If we both finish he brings me a beer and cookies, if only he finishes I get wine and cheesecake. I think I'm in love.
Turns out the guy I peed on gave me a ride back to my dorm this morning.
You are a god.
I think I may have some undocumented and undiscovered std that causes girls to go bat shit crazy. How you got it is beyond me
The George Foreman grill is melted. I don't know what other problems could arise.
Fuck I forgot the furry convention was this weekend and now I'm downtown. Way too high for this shit.
My dad's girlfriend is driving through the snow to bring me my purple haze. If he doesn't wife her up, we have a bigger issue on our hands.
Like a gentleman I waited until you were done vomming to start my Big Mac.
Whoever jacked off in MY pong room on the bean bag with your fucking googles pick up your fucking cum towel you gross disgusting fucks. I said NO MORE jacking off in that room. I swear I will empty it out if this is going to continue.
I'll give you some leg action but I'm not showing you anything else until your penis admits it loves me
He came into my room last night and started peeing underneath my desk, I told him the bathroom was the next door over.
its like probably shouldnt be sending pics of your asshole to strangers who work in the same building as you
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