he quoted cool runnings while we were having sex: feel the rythm,feel the rhyme, get on up, its bobsled time
They had a "who can aim further away from the toilet" contest. I'm now washing piss off my ceiling.
Pretty sure that this text will cost me like $5 but just wanted you to know that I just smoked a bowl of kush, about to walk around shopping for hookers and i get 3 credit hours for this study abroad .... have fun studying for finals.
After we finished he asked if I knew if it was a boy or girl. Diet. Starts. Now.
about to tell this girl that sh'es my teenage dream. you have 15.358s to stop me.
it's official, after last weekend my girl number is higher than my guy number. fix this.
he drunk texted me to give me his number with the message "i gotchu pretty eyeso" i can't tell if he's complimenting me or himself.
Was just walking through the park by the river. Saw some random in a tree, we climbed up, blazed with him and bought a bag. In the tree. Real shit.
I see your smile in the face of every drunk that senses he's about to slay a troll.
I had to have the guy I went out with last night come pick me up from the hotel the next morning after I ditched him for a firefighter..don't even talk to me about a walk of shame
I was wondering how I got the burn marks on my boobs and then I remembered....
The baked potato bra?
I think the exact words were 'I'd lett him to the weirdest shit to me'
The more I drank he just got hotter and hotter. And then the mustache didn't look too bad
How do I figure out the name of this sleeping naked guy in my bed?
have you ever tried to puke in an automatic flushing toilet? impossible
Randomize
