Oh just a soda. I'm "driving"
Remember that sex scene from American Psycho?
Ya, why?
We should try that some time.
Miracle whip is the devil's jizz.
At an apparent methhead hillbilly bar and was smiling for a pic when one toothless wonder screamed "look at all them teeth"!
yeah she was being a bitch. do you remember me stealing ryan cabrerra's beer?!?!
Apparently I ran up to the group of cookie-cutter blonde chicks and screamed "Delta Gamma Nuuuuuuu!" really excitedly and tried to hug them and share fake sorority stories with them.
we played lady & the tramp with a hash brown from McDonald's....im in love.
so she bought me lunch gave me a blowie then paid for the gas since I drove... I think there's a catch but I'm gonna run with it
this is a time for prayers...seriously
let us hold hands and pray.. sweet baby jesus please bring us some sweet sweet man loving this homecoming weekend to aid our lonely vaginas it has been a long couple of weeks amen.
My TA just came over to give us drugs. Now he's drinking grey goose with my roommate and explaining his thesis to her. This is too much.
omg. i wish i could describe to you the number of things that were just in my vagina. i feel like i got gangbanged by construction workers.
YOHYFONSO!! YOU ONLY HAVE YOUR FIRST ONE NIGHT STAND ONCE!!
so in other words, they broke and fell off and I ate a gummy life saver off of his balls
I almost just opened my door to get my pizza butt ass naked
God does not give you boobs that amazing to not share them with your friends
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