Wedsnesdays are always enlightening. Tonights revealation: One should not smoke from something taller than their person.
Dude, you were so drunk last night that when we went into subway, you forgot the word for bread.
you know you go to a catholic school when you are rollin a joint with matthew 14:1-12
Then we managed to set a grill and all 24lbs of meat on it on fire. I didn't help because I was filled with alcohol and extra flammable.
Pregaming class all semester has made this final review session more like my introduction to the topic.
Sending me a thank you card for letting you fuck my sister was completely inappropriate
Cancel that soberness update. I just almost fell down in the security line
I guess? According to Jeff his mom is wondering when the grand babies will arrive. So I don't think they like ME so much as my supposed functioning uterus
I think he's speaking German to me now
Nevermind, he's just drunk and not texting properly
I have a big to do list for you. Number 1 - me. Number 2 - drink wine 3. Talk my ears off. 4. Me again
30 year old woman with braces and crocs came into the store today with her boyfriend. what am I doing wrong.
He was so aggressive it felt like he was giving my boob a root cannal
he said "GREAT SCOTT" as he was cumming.
I just had a flashback to me puking and you telling me it was okay because my boobs still looked awesome.
Yeah, everything was going great until the mugging.
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