maybe you should take the dick out of your mouth before you start talking.
i did. i'm using it as a microphone.
Well you know what I always say about freshmen.... If you want it, and they've got it... get it.
So you're telling me it's impossible to have a "slight case" of chlamydia?
you thought that fire hydrant was a midget...you gave it a hug and asked for a lollipop.
We fucked standing up with my right leg over his shoulder. Thank you mom and dad for having once enrolled me in gymnastics. It has finally paid off
It's my birthday, I plan on masturbating and boating, maybe even masturbate on the boat.
I just got a booty call..Its 6 pm..a brave attempt to climb the rotation ladder..I like his ambition.
He looks like he got hit by a weed-eater with chlamydia
Porch rule of tonight: when you sing, you must use "something" as a microphone. The person to use the most "creative" object gets the door prize...so far Stephie is winning with Jennifer's dog.
YOU ARE TAKING ADVANTAGE OF MY INEBRIATED STATE
YOU ARE DRUNK AND USED AND SPELLED THE WORD "INEBRIATED" CORRECTLY. I AM TAKING ADVANTAGE OF NOTHING.
I CAN'T HELP THAT I'M MULTITALENTED YA FUCKER
Got done with class, now I'm buying MD 2020 with the ex. Sure feels like college.
I walked into my room last night at 4 am and there's a random dude in his boxers eating oatmeal on my futon. I looked at him and went to bed
She deliberately backed into the homewrecker's whoremobile and yelled ""FOR SPARTA!"
In between explaining the best feminist lenses for the myth of Persephone and doing vodka shots with my friends she dragged me into my car and gave me an Earth shattering blow job. Honestly I think I'm in love.
is it sad that the highlight of my saturday night was waiting till 3 in the morning to hear about your saturday night?
Randomize
