I got three cases. When they asked for id I said it was suspended for drunk driving.
We discussed how the marijuana was making the dopamine float around our nucleus accumbens last night when we were high. Yet another example of how our science classes are perverting our good times.
maybe if i keep dancing i won't throw up
yeah, that's what i said too. right before i tackled that street sign.
I don't have any swimsuits that don't show off the weird handprint bruises on my hips. Do you have a onepiece I can borrow?
He told me to fuck off at some point in the night. I think it was right before he jumped out of a moving car trying to get to another bar and made Abby cry.
After the nose/jizz incident i think our relationship can handle anything.
Realistically you can't tell me you're gonna put mashed potatoes on your dick and expect me not to get excited
By far the fardest thing to do drunk is open a band aid
Also, there's definitely not a non-hilarious way to ask to stick something up your butt.
I just had sex with the Sheriff's Deputy. You should call me.
I think my liver has finally had enough and is going all Ashley-Judd-in-a-Lifetime-movie on me.
Just don't do anything stupid
i did a stupid sorry
Do it!! We better have a duck by the time I get home.
Pornhub is actually a very wholesome website
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