yeah. then i thought it would be a good idea to show them how hairy my armpits were, so they'd be distracted from the bush in my pants. EPIC FAIL.
I'm more concerned as to why he has a playlist entitled Dem Club Beats.
he wanted me to put the condom on for him. I was high and couldn't figure it out.. so instead we played xbox.
Just saw a guy doing jumping jacks at the gym. I don't even have to create a punch line for that
obviously he wasnt ready for this jelly and you can quote me on that
I mean I don't object to weird looking penis as long as it gets the job done. I just need to get it in. I'm gonna be humping chairs soon.
We are gunna have the best winter break smoking weed and eating ham
We're keeping you on a leash this Saint Patrick's Day
HE ASKED IF I HAD SIBLINGS WHEN I ASKED HIM TO LICK MY ASSHOLE
I don't fucking know. He perched his parrot on his dick. I left after that.
the only thing she has in her apt so far is toilet paper and shot glasses. you can see where the priorities lie.
Rough day
Good thing I've started drinking again
Hey, you know that marble art statue thing in your bedroom? Hypothetically what would happen if a penis got stuck in it?
Alcohol and I aren't friends right now.
Omfg I just White Claw shamed a Girl Scout Cookie mom and I feel SO BAD.
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