FUCK TREES I CLIMB BUOYS MOTHERFUCKER
STOP listening to that song
i havent had this much fun since the last time i farted and it created a boner.
She recited Pi throughout ever orgasm she had....she said it was a game she likes to play...how far she gets is how she judges her lovers...I am oddly turned on by this...
it's official, i know exactly what cross streets we're at by the bumps when i give him road head
Dude, she literally stopped, mid fuck said "I want soup" got off my dick and make top ramen.
At least it earned you a couple drinks. And something tells me you've touched grosser things with less incentive.
We have video of him nailing the sex doll to my wall and putting all the monopoly pieces in her nose
Dude, Taco Bell gave me a free fiesta potatoes when I won a bet on wether I could fit the entire rim of a cup in my mouth.
Breathalizer & tazer party did not go as casually as expected.
The only thing he had going for him was mad fingering skills. the ONLY thing. crayons have a wider circumference.
Who was the girl that woke me up at 4am to tell me "there's an emergency, we need you to come smoke weed"
I feel as if we moved beyond the hook up stage when she blew me as I drunkenly finished my chicken nuggets.
Dad's already had 6 Zionist conspiracy rants and moms trying to detect any "dark energies" in my soul. You have 4 days before you return to this shit: ENJOY THEM
I Have a huge scrape on my knee and I need a better excuse than dry humping on a park bench...
The walk home lasted longer than the sex. He lives in the flat above the bar.
Randomize
