so I have this game called 14 beers left. and we both have to drink 7 before we leave
Thanks for ditching me last night. I got a ride home from the Dominos delivery guy. You owe me 3 large pizzas.
it was like weight watchers had a halloween party.
what made it akward was his girlfriends dog watching us have sex
Im pretty sure it started going awry when I asked their mom "How much would it cost me to sleep with your daughters"
I think I'm about to have sex with a second person before noon hehehhe! You're welcome America.
She just admitted to me that she was a pinecone.
Most of the bar is playing trivia I'm playing destroy a relationship in twenty questions
Its not like i paid for sex. She was stuck there, we simply exchanged rides.
It was almost as bad as the time I peed on the floor of the Pentagon's subway station.
It's twenty thirteen and the rando and I bonded over the fact that we're both stil using flip phones. Of course I fucked him in the bathroom. It was the obvious thing to do.
Blacking out is all I've done this year and we're only 3 days in. Checkmate bitch.
this is the second day the intern has gotten me coffee. he either wants to bang me or thinks I'm more important than I am.
either way he's in for disappointment
How was the party
I came home with only one shoe, a t shirt tied around my shoeless foot and I was covered in motor oil. Oh and my shorts were inside out. So you tell me
there is definitely a hickey on my left nipple.
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