Why does Jon Cryer have a career?
That is a good question.
We just picked up about 540 lbs of women....
she just put all the cheese in the refrig to sleep.. and yes we did finish you bottle.
I woke up this morning naked, with a to-go box from Qdoba, an entire meal completely untouched. I have been piecing together my night to find some answers. I feel like Nancy Drew.
I came out of bedroom with my jeans on backwards, zipped AND buttoned. I have inconceivable talents whilst intoxicated.
I didn't know it was possible to make picking up dog shit look sexy.
She did the bend and snap...
All I wanted was a "this is what America feels like" blowjob before I left. Is that too much to ask for?
I really wasn't that bad. I thought I was pretty tame.
When Anthony passed out you poured vodka on his face
I told him we couldn't hang out because I had strep, he said he's had it once so he couldn't get it again. The sex isn't worth this level of stupidity
and if my full six pack comes in by Halloween there is no stopping the man slut costume. I have no shame
It's like a booty call, except its for tacos...and you're my brother.
Trying to coordinate a drug deal while taking a psych test is not easy.
I mean he gave me an 'I owe you an orgasm' fist bump
I think the "tmi" ship sailed a long time ago, and it took our dignities with it..
The cure for a hangover evidently is not walking around in a costume in the sun towards of park of screaming children
Randomize
