when we were having sex and i started crying and telling you i missed you..why couldnt you stop and tell me how you felt or make me feel better?you kept going...
i'm using a wine bottle as a spitter. how classy is that.
I have taken lazynest to a new level. I took a picture of the notes on the board instead of writing them. I win.
only 75% of american men are circumcised...i guess this was bound to happen to me someday.
I'm masturbating to football. This is why I get guys and you don't
getting up at 8am to start drinking seemed like a much better idea before I had to wake up at 8am
he said good things come in small packages and I decided to hook up with someone else
Still at home. Videotaping hamsters.
Talking to her is like watching "Bad Life Choices: The Movie"
I just had a spiritual connection with my sweater and did ballet in the hallway. Alone. I'd say we're gonna chalk that up as a win for marijuana and call it a night
He ripped down his Kate Upton poster while we were having sex last night. Im gonna take that as a good sign.
In other news, I just threw up my burrito and am currently on all fours literally crawling back to my bed
You just get me
I'm the wind beneath your wings, bitch
Wait, there's no way I said I would suck his dick. I know drunk Katie.
No, you told him to suck YOUR dick.
See now that sounds like drunk Katie.
im ready to get drunk and forget everything ive learned this semester
Randomize
