I feel dirty and I went home alone. Bars should be like airlines and make fat girls pay double for everything.
Nope changed our mind. Decided your strange bacon like body odor wasn't what we want to smell tonight.
she asked if i had a condom...i said yes...when we finished it wasnt on...told her it was at home on my dresser.
you had sex with a 30 year old who doesn't have a cell phone but does have an 8 year old son.
he's 29.
Just got physical proof that at 6 am i was running around with raw potatoes threatening to mash them on his floor. Hello, Mobile uploads
oh and i'm sorry i sold you for three cigarettes last night
I really hope jumping jacks prevent pregancy because I'm kind of banking on it right now, do you know why there's a unicycle in the corner of my room?
he told her he was actually impressed that she had fucked more people in this house than the four dudes living in it.
Hey, I got 20% of the people home that I was responsible for. I can't be expected to do much more.
Im calling you paparazzi cause of all the dick pics you take of your one night stands ps loved the panoramic one!
We spent 45 minutes searching the crevices of our friend's car with a pair of tweezers trying to find the acid that we dropped
IS NO AN EMOTION BECAUSE THAT'S WHAT I'M FEELING RIGHT NOW
So.. I was kinda upset i got the bad fuck out of the situation
My feet surprised me
Just went to jump into bed... Completely missed the bed.
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