I think tonya harding is in my dwi class!
Ask her how she and Jeff Gillooly split the cats after the divorce.
Just went to my life planning class. The professor has a braid going halfway down his back and an earring.
How do I introduce myself to her without coming off as "the guy who jacks-off to her profile pic"?
Definitely got drunk and sent her a literal picture of my asshole. I titled it " you"
Odd question. Did you find a 20 in your boxers? I need it for gas.
This just became a night full of adventures...and by adventures I mean hitting people with my car
And on the subject of embracing my inner whore, I had two different dicks in my mouth yesterday. Friend, it's official. I'm completely outta control.
Doing the walk of shame and bringing my dad a newspaper en route. Favourite daughter status confirmed.
I want to see boobs tonight. Like, real ones. Your ones.
I'm romantic.
Just think Febushuary. A whole month of 70's esque bush! This is the dream
My credit card got frozen due to suspicious activity. "Let's go over your recent transaction history... it looks like these are all at bars." BITCH, DON'T JUDGE MY MONDAY NIGHTS.
Who wakes up at 9 and says "let me send a pic of my dick to my ex gf"
The economy cant be that bad, I willingly got fired to bang her again.
It's an interesting experience to pee while a bird meows at you.
You need to get out of the house more
Just sent a nude with the caption "seasons greetings from our family to yours"
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