Did you see Brett Michaels get knocked on his ass?
Hurt me personally.
Knocked his cowboy hat off... Bandanna was still good though
thank god dogs can't talk. they see way to much.
I found them in the kitchen microwaving bottle rockets chanting U.S.A U.S.A U.S.A
We are not in the same countries and I heard about your hook up last night BEFORE you.
This might be the most awkward night of my life. And I had someone pee on me once.
in my defence, i did try to get you to put your shirt back on, then you screamed at me to stop telling you what to do
I have just figured that it takes exactly 2 and a half rums to clean the bathroom..
Mr. Clingalot just ran from our apartment. What the hell?
I started to cry afterward and mumble random things. Examples: "God, please don't make me be so gay anymore" and "my mom is going to be so proud of me for fucking a dude this time." It was that or let him stay the night and cuddle. I mean, fuck that horrible shit I'm a girl that needs her space.
He kept singing Happy Birthday to himself, yelling at the bouncers for not letting him in, and telling them his "father will hear of this." He was like a drunken Scottish Draco Malfoy.
Watching boy meets world, drinking left over pink panty droppers and coloring in a my little pony coloring book. This is my Monday night
He follows more cats on Instagram then he does girls.. That's how you know your boyfriend is whipped.
I'm on A4A looking at dick pics while the CEO is on the phone trying to convince me not to leave the company
I didn't know how to commemorate his death, so I snorted a fat line off of his obituary. Rest in peace.
Rain drop, shock top, drinking can't stop stop
I'm really excited to meet your new dude! But we really need to find out if he's your cousin first.
Randomize