I just got called an ass for saying no thanks to a Greenpeace solicitor. I don't want the whales to die but I do want Greenpeace to fail. Conundrum.
He did a line, told me my hair looked pretty against the background of the clouds, and then we fucked. Good afternoon
This isnt meant to be as creepy as it sounds, but do you seriously want a lock of the hair I cut off?
New drinking game. Every time Romney and Santorum switch leads, take a shot.
....this is what your political science major is getting you?
your fridge is broken, your sock drawer is full of snow, and you flipped off the whole stadium on the big screen. I'd say it went well.
You poured your drink on him and called him a "useless cocksucker" because he wouldn't give you a ride home... on his skateboard
I don't know if I want to fuck him or punch him in the face.
Now all I want to do is stay up, drink wine, and look at dragons.
Am I just high or is she having an auction for her vagina on Twitter
WTF I can't even get a boyfriend here and you're getting nudes from across the country
Feel weird saying this on Facebook, but a dildo collecting demigod sounds like somebody I'd at least hang with for a minute.
I haven't gotten dressed in 4 days. God bless you, unemployment.
Even my fuck buddy told me I needed a boyfriend. Fml.
I just woke up to my family in the living room watching our security camera tape of me last night talking to a stop sign in our backyard... How the fuck did I get that in the yard?
Just realized that I indirectly pay for sex through my cable bill
Wow. He is an expensive lay
I still have to figure out the cost per lay. It could be a financially sound investment
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