I remember having a drink with vegetables in it. They said it was a mojito, but it tasted like cabbage.
haha i love mojitos
ya and i hate cabbage
I'm pretty sure a girl doesn't give it up with a reverse cow girl...
First time i ever had an awkward silence during sex.
Watching that soccer game was like getting kicked in the crotch for an hour and half and then coming right at the end.
can you call in chlamydia to work? like if the antibiotics they gave you for it are giving you the shits...
she was passed out on the moving sidewalks in the airport, we NEED to travel more often
Tough to say exactly how to play this. I just know people don't like surprises when genitals are involved.
Hahah fuck. I keep looking to make sure that stupid line doesn't show up when my guards are down. Babies can sense fear.
Just witnessed a fat waitress doing whipits in the back of a waffle house.. my life seems a little brighter..
someone needs to name a hurricane after you
I just had a twenty minute discussion about endangered breed dog breeding with an Extremely drunk guy
So many questions...
im glad to be known as "the girl you had sex with on a golf course"
He grabbed my tits and sang "you are so beautiful" to them before faceplanting into my chest
IT'S A GIANT FUCKING ROBOT, DUDE. LOGIC IS OUT OF THE QUESTION BECAUSE AWESOME.
Our fake lesbian relationship is better than her real relationship. Bitch be jealous
Randomize
