4:12a: just got back to his place now. I don't want to talk about it
Sometimes I think its so cool that a dick that has been inside kate moss has also been inside me. So exciting.
I'm pretty sure I just had a convo with my hot pockets about how they weren't good enough for the oven.
Um I think everyone drunk and there's some douche on violin.
Let's just say that watching the sunrise in a space helmet is really the only way to do it.
That dick who always called me a slut in high school showed up at the clinic with boner problems. Then I was assigned as his nurse. Who's laughing now. I AM.
Sex with him is like pizza, it can be shitty but its stillll pizza.....
I mean, I introduced myself as "the after party". I think he knew early in the night he was in for a bangathon.
This is exactly why you shouldn't bang your bartender. Although the awkward free shots are a plus.
She wouldn't eat a clam- if you blow a line pregnant you can eat a clam
im so sad I can't openly talk about acid tab Sundays
I'll say this one last time. You are TWENTY FIVE YEARS OLD. You are not going to die alone and this is not the twilight of your life. Stop taking shrooms on your period!!!!
this potential sugar daddy just sent me a photo of him butt naked in the woods saying he wants to "grow our spirits together." so i think i found us a new drug dealer!
He showed up soaking wet with a flashlight and a ping pong ball. I couldn't say no
Well we've always known you have a weakness for guys with balls in their hands
All of a sudden he got that look on his face and ran to the dance floor and started fist pumping to Rihanna that kind of night
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