You did that once after drunk driving from a photo shoot
That was very cool/italian of you
Which brings me to my next point, how come italians are so well adapted to drunk driving
dude i need help, im throwing up blood.
no youre not, you just drank a pitcher of red koolaid trying to sober up.
oh, so thats why my junks red.
wow. cant help you there...
I told her for every minute she spent down there, I would donate a dollar to the Haiti relief fund... totally worked
Interesting preview of what next year will be like. Side note, missing a chunk of flesh from my middle finger.
Some guy stole lobsters by hiding them in his pants. We should strive to be like him.
I can feel my liver begging me to stop.
nothing like going to the bathroom, running into the wall, thinking its a person and saying"its ok i just had the 4 beers" even the wall knew i was lying
We hotboxed his closet and accidentally lit some of his shirts on fire... do we have a fire extinguisher?
Guess I was throwing darts at a patrons head last night, lol! Black out
These kids are nice. Shrooms make everything so nice.
I don't know which I need first...a shower or a confessional.
He snorted adderall on my table. I have a feeling he's not trying to buy me flowers
pray to the hookup gods
We broke the bed while I was handcuffed to the headboard and let's just say that was a hard one to explain to the RA
If I could I'd magically teleport drugs and alcohol to you. Like a bad decision fairy.
Randomize
