I'm too scared of my Fleshlight to even use it anyway.
People with herpes should wear stickers.
I think most guys look at porn as a fallback career. I mean I know I do.
He just left me a message saying he left the rest of the weed for me. Did i just get paid for sex? And if yes did i just get paid in drugs?
Just got a call from someone claiming to be my son . How do I initiate a conversation. Tell me about the last eighteen years. And by the way who is your mom again?
Saved By The Bell: The College Years had it waaaay wrong on that one.
If for any reason you were wondering if i was going to vomit at the airport today, the answer is yes.
They were going around the house breaking things and screaming "Not my house!"
She wanted to to do it on top of a horse, I can't compete with that
I distinctly remember seeing your nipples from the deck.
I have a lot of questions this morning, most of them start with "Did I..."
Ur wingman ability is causing serious doubt
Ok first off its WAY easier if you are actually here
She swallowed the key to the cuffs, I've been having to explain the pink fuzz all morning.
while on the topic of showers...why is there apple juice in our bathtub?
It was rocky mountain showdown of course we got shitfaced and talked about eating buffaloes
Randomize
