your head's too prwtty to be stuck in the books
after we finished we were both getting water at the kitchen sink...butt naked
so?
then my sister's foreign roommate walked out...in footy pajamas
So I was blaaazed. & while he was in me all I kept thinking was how bad I'd rather be watching The Office.
i'm making a list of conversation topics in my blackberry so the ride won't be so awkward
17 year olds will be the death of me.
I really wish you were half the slut you're sister was in college
lets grab drinks (in a friendly, not super awkward because ive eaten your ass kind of way) sometime soon
wow.
Someone in a vagina costume on campus.
I started sorting laundry at 6 am. He finally got the hint and left
I have dibs on his crisis of faith.
You know you're baked when you feel your throat closing up from an allergic reaction to the pecans in the cookie you're eating but you keep eating the damn cookie.
My favorite part of you downing a fifth of fireball in my apartment by yourself is the shot glass in the sink. It's like you attempted moderation and were just like "Fuck this."
Well in other news, my nipples are healing pretty well but next time I get drunk and decide to pierce something please for the love of god stop me!
I swear to god if you settle for a trump supporting packers fan, I will not acknowledge your children. You're better than that.
ARE YOU DEAD? TEXT Y FOR YES OR N FOR NO.
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