Afterall, it is the real San Francisco treat
Lol speaking of weird...he just sent me a naked pic of himself that said "meow" at the bottom.
I ended up giving him head, i think it was mostly a defensive move so that he wouldn't discover i was wearing those onesy spanx
They're putting plan B in vending machines now. My life just got so much easier.
Brought him brownies before taking his pants off. I'm like the Martha fucking Stewart of booty calls. Walk of shame be damned.
Nothing says love like couples STD testing
Nothing says breakup like the results
The bottle of Jameson may have been a bit aggressive for a Sunday cookout.
low point in my life last night. licked pizza grease off my iphone screen..
Oh okay well are you handling the "just sex part" like a professional hooker like I taught you?
I heard them banging and it sounded like he was trying to stuff a fucking coconut into her
I bet your mom's never met a girl who's thrown up at the presidential inauguration before though.
You told me that you would let her eat cake off of your ass, then fell asleep on the floor
When she's hammered the amount of alliteration that comes out of her mouth is amazing.
Well I hate to admit it but at this point I can successfully say i have been pee'd on by both of my roommates.
are you comparing glasses to pregnancy
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