He just left - my room smells like that cheese they put on nachos and cigarettes and beef
Yo quero taco bell
Duck Duck Cougar?
i wish i could google "things to eat in my fridge" so i wouldnt have to go downstairs and be disappointed
i cant text you anymore tonight, God gave me two hands for two cups
New low: just got woken up by my 9 year old cousin throwing an empty at me and telling me to get my life together.
And tan into my neighbor in the elevator. She was going to the gym. I was covered in mascara and dog hair eating a hash brown
I was riding him and in the middle he literally said "fuck yeah, Amy Winehouse"
When confronted with a choice of going home or fucking the band ALWAYS FUCK THE BAND!!
So I definitely tried to pay a cab with baseball tickets last night
I know he’s a bad decision but he's casual, his penis is amazing and his technique is on point.
It was crazy man, at one point after already going 3 rounds I tried to breakaway for a smoke...she yanked me by the nipple hair back on top of her.
I AHVE A WINE BUCKETTTTTTT
He showed up on school grounds wearing nothing but a suit of armor. Really at this point I'm more impressed than angry.
Lest it die in the depths of eternal drunken recall denial...we peed in the street. Middle of the street. Simultaneously. Peed. Street. Middle of street.
You've had it in your mouth, how have you not seen it?
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